Stepping out of hermitage

To Life:
You are a tricky bustard who really knows how to sneak up behind my back and push me into the worst-ever crappy situations ever. Your sordid actions are so despicable, I spurn you as I spurn a rabid dog!

You knew that I have been trying to avoid the embodiment of my anguished memories, yet you had to tease me with her appearances. In the time of my attempted hermitage, I saw her more often than a donkey sees the carrot dangling in front of its head. Why on earth did you do that? Why did you hide her away from me when I desperately wanted to see her and paraded her like patriotic banners when I tried to avoid her.

Am I annoyed with how you have treated me? No. I find what you did repugnant you detestable, obnoxious, wretched low-life! I had never mouthed any bad word about you; in fact, I had been defending your mischievous antics -- I'd said 'the satisfaction of over-coming obstacles makes life worth living'. I ALWAYS SIDED YOU. But why did you put me through so much torment? Why?

Why did you bring me into this judgemental world as Benjamin button? Why was I born a precocious kid only to grow into some immaturely kiddish man? What is the use of eloquence when all other less-than-one-year-olds could only cry, suckle, and poop? Where have my immaculate sentence construction and listening skills gone to? Where have my maturity gone to? I dare you to say that I have grown out of them.

You made me a romantic whose archilles heel is timidity. You sinisterly administered into me a heavy doze of the love drug, yet constrained my actions with silly ego, shyness and fear of rejection. I fell in love, but I dared not say. I blamed myself, not you, when I missed my chance. But I curse you for giving me a good memory and strong emotions because you made it painstakingly difficult for me to forget this sad episode of excruciating pain.

You made my life miserable. Congratulations.

In you, I have no hope but one wish. I wish that you could let me regain my sanity so that I can scrape through my exams.

You are innately evil, and I know that. I accept that you will not concede to my request without a fair trade thus henceforth I make my bargain: I forego all hopes for HDs. Despite finding law particularly easy and HD within reach (with strong affirmation from my lecturers), I am willing to compromise for a D average.

I hereby proclaim my renunciation from hermitage. If you do have a heart, end my sorrow by either letting me forget her, or give me courage to make her the happiest person alive. Do not fucking leave me hanging or I'll hang myself.

C'est la vie

'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.' ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

'with all its sham, drudgrey, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.' ~ Max Erhmann, Desiderata

'Of all pain, and the greatest pain,
Is to love, and to love in vain.' ~ George granville