Tick - Tock -Tick - Tock

The rhythmic tickings of the analogue watch at the airport was an indication of their nearing departure and my unwanting independence.

Grandpa and grandma were there, but the tickings were never soft. And they NEVER stop.

Breadfast was a silent one. No one had the appetite. Who would anyway? But I ate, because mom insisted. She knew I wouldn't eat so she made the you-better-eat-your-meals long distance call.

I've never said goodbyes to my brother and sister, and neither did they. But now we have to. This feeling is so foreign.

We bid our farewells as they left for the departure terminal, waved our goodbyes and mouthed our well-wishes as they dragged their feet to the departure gate. Gate 32.

My brother messaged his farewell and I replied. Our texts were formal. The language both of us despised, mocked and laughed at together. And today, we used it. Maybe it serves as a reminiscence of the funs we had together. Those were the days. The days when we were still young. The days when we were still together.

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock. The dreadful sound at the airport has now become a melodic one because it reminds me of time passing and their imminent return. The gambler and his stakes -- My family.

Then again, this constant ticking signals the never pausing time and the coming As that I've NOT prepared for.

I want time to pass by quickly so that I can see my family again but I want time so slow down to a craw so that I can catch up with my preparations for As. This really is a dilemma and for now, I have a big big house for myself to allay this misery.